I Can-Cer Vive

It is April 30th.  Tomorrow my treatment begins.  I will have radiation and chemotherapy tomorrow starting at 9:30 in the morning and finishing up around 6:30 PM.  This will be the first of 35 radiation treatments and 7 chemotherapy treatments. I have been poked and prodded enough to last me for several years.  I have had teeth removed, ports put in and my torture mask fitted to my face.  I am at the point where we now have to attack this cancer and get it out of my body.  I needed to be in a good place mentally to face this challenge head on, and I needed Kim to be in an equally good place to handle the stress and worry that she will face as my caregiver.  The one place I can go to rejuvenate my mind and soul is the ocean. When Kim and I were discussing going to the beach to watch the sunrise and pray for what we were about to face, her brother, Bobby, came forward and paid for a night at one of our favorite hotels on the beach.  This hotel, the Radisson, has a wrap around balcony

It is the afternoon of Wednesday, April 26 th .   I get yet another phone call from the UF Cancer Center.   When I answered it the voice on the other end says, “Hey Charlie, this is Dr. Manon”.   Dr. Manon is my radiation doctor.   He is not only very sharp and capable, but he has a sense of humor.   I ask him what is going on and he proceeds to tell me that it was driving him crazy waiting for my new biopsy results.   It seems that I was not the only one who was questioning the results of the other biopsies. He had checked on them several times throughout the day and they were finally put into the system.   He then asks, “Do you want to know what the results are? Is it okay if I tell you over the phone”?   I am curious on these results too. I tell him, “I already know I have cancer so you really aren’t dropping a big bomb here”.   He laughs and says, “Yes, you do have cancer the latest biopsy just confirmed it”! It may seem weird, but at that point we were both really happy with

April 16 th and it is time to go back to the dentist. This time they are going to make molds of my teeth. They will use these molds to make small trays that I can put in every night and soak my teeth in fluoride.   Apparently, because my saliva glands will be killed I have a higher chance of getting cavities.   The fluoride treatment will help fight these off.   When you only have a few teeth, this becomes kind of important. When I get there, I get placed in the treatment room.   The first nurse comes in and asks if I have been instructed on my mouthwashes.   Well we all know how to use mouthwash, so I let her know I can figure it out.   Oops, I underestimated what she meant by mouthwash.   She pulls out a bag that looks like a science experiment.   She tells me that radiation will cause sores in my mouth and burn the throat and gums.   I have to rinse with a mouthwash every hour. Are you kidding me, that is a full time job in itself.   Then she tells me I have three separate mou

Okay, it is April 25th and I am getting my third and final biopsy of my lymph node.   Let me explain how we got to this point.   I have spoken with my radiation doctor and had my radiation mask all made and ready to go.   I have spoken to my chemotherapy doctor and have my chemo type and dosage all prescribed and ready to go.   Everything is set up and scheduled for me to be poisoned and radiated, but I still had one question.   I sent an e-mail to my surgeon and told him I want to take a step back before I start treatment.   I explained that the first biopsy taken on March 1st showed Squamous Cell carcinoma.   Since that day nobody has been able to capture or find the cancer anywhere else.   It was not found during my surgery where several samples were taken and it was not found with the large core biopsy taken on March 30 th .   Can he give me clear and convincing evidence that I do have cancer before I start. I guess that was a legitimate request.   Within an hour of sendin

Okay, today gave me a dose of reality.   It is April 19 th . I have been very upbeat and positive during this whole collection of tests, surgeries and failed attempts.   I can truly say that I have seen God’s hand on all parts of this journey.   Even the parts that did not go so well all had silver linings on them.   When people ask how I am doing, I can answer them Great.   When I ask myself how I am doing, I can still say Great.   I am ready for this to start so I can get cured and put it all behind me like a bad dream. So, the phone rings at noon.   I answer it and the voice on the other end explains she is the scheduler for radiation.   My first radiation treatment is scheduled for Monday April, 24 th at 9:00 AM.   Hearing that made things all to real.   I immediately lost my positive attitude, actually stammered a little bit when I spoke back with her and felt like I got kicked in the stomach.   I told her I was not ready, there was a biopsy scheduled for April, 25 th and t