I Can-Cer Vive

First things first, I want to wish Kim a happy birthday.  I am taking her away for a three day all inclusive stay on her birthday, but for some reason she said the hospital was not her idea of a five star resort.  I will have to try harder next year, Lol.   Seriously, she has been a trooper and has jumped in to caring for me and taking care of what needs to be taken care of without feeling cheated or upset.  I can't say enough how lucky I am to have her. Once I got to the hospital I started the pre-op procedures.  I had to get an x-ray, get an IV started, answer a laundry list of questions and get ready for the surgery.  As soon as I checked in at the pre-op desk I was immediately escorted to the back.  I barely had time to say good bye to Kim, and wasn't able to talk to Jessie or Ryan at all. Once I got to the back the first step was to start an IV for surgery.  This is normally a challenge with my veins.  Now I have added extreme weight loss, and veins that are badly dama

Today was a pretty uneventful day.  I went to radiation and got that over with. After radiation, I had an appointment with my oncology dentist.  She checks my gums, teeth and the overall health of my mouth.  During my check-up she was very impressed with how well I was taking care of my mouth.  She said the mouth rinses were working well in helping keep some of the sores from developing and my gums were in fairly good shape. I normally hate going to the dentist because no matter how good I do they always seem to find something that needs fixing.  It was nice to leave there with a positive check up and a gold star for dong such a good job.

I went to my oncologist today before my radiation treatment.  We discussed my medications, made a few small changes and talked.  During the course of the conversation we decided it was time to schedule my getting a feeding tube. I am trying to cram in the calories, but still can't get enough in to maintain my weight, much less add to it.  Her concern is that if I wait another week and then decide to get the tube, I will already be so weak that the procedure will take a toll on me as well as the treatment. If I get the tube while I am still fairly strong, I will heal quicker and will benefit faster from it.  I have to say her logic makes sense. When we left her office we went over to radiation to get cooked.  While I was there I asked it the feeding tube will interfere with my radiation treatments. I don't want a lapse in treatment since this is what is primarily what is saving my life.  I was assured it would not. They wheel you from your hospital bed to radiation and then

Wow, I can't believe today I have gone passed the half way point in my radiation treatments.  From here it is all downhill.  The side effects of the radiation will start to intensify, but at least I can see the end approaching. It is the day after my chemo treatment, and this is always a hard day.  I feel like I have been run over by a large truck, twice.  I spend a lot of the day resting and napping so that I don't exhaust myself or get myself too nauseous. After my radiation treatment I get to go back to the cancer center and have fluids run through my veins. This may not sound like a good thing to most people, but for me it is a boost of energy and helps push the chemo drugs out of my kidneys and out of my body.  It really does help with the recovery. On the fun side of things, my body now does a new trick.  The radiation is obliterating my sinus cavities. I have to do a sinus rinse every day to keep my sinuses clear and keep working smooth.  Now when I do my rins

Today I had my fourth chemo treatment.  That is number four out of seven so I have officially crossed over into the second half of my treatment.  It may be a small milestone, but it feels so good to know that I have gone this far and only have three more of these to be done. Now for the rest of my day.  I went to radiation treatment and handled it like a boss.  I wasn't stressed out and the dry mouth did not bother me much at all.  That is my goal for the rest of my week. After getting cooked in radiation I had my weekly visit with the radiation doctor. When I weighed in I found out that I had lost 15 pounds over the last two weeks. He was not very happy and said that once I lose 18 pounds we will probably be putting a feeding tube in me. He explained that I will be in a catabolic state and my  body will stat eating itself for energy.  This will not only take a toll on my muscle mass, but will make my recovery from radiation and chemotherapy harder because my body will be t

The third week of treatment is officially over.  I now have the weekend with no chemo and no radiation.  These small breaks make all the difference. When Kim and I started the radiation treatment we would run across the same people every day.  The treatments are scheduled every 30 minutes so you start to see the same faces and talk every day. As we were talking to the couple ahead of and behind our appointment time we learned that both were in their final few days of treatment.  I remember looking at them, feeling bad that they looked like zombies, but being jealous they were almost done. Today while I was being cooked a young couple came into the radiation treatment waiting room.  Kim recognized they looked lost and tried to give them some assistance.  It turned out the young lady was recently diagnosed with esophagus cancer and is starting her radiation therapy on May 25th.  She had a ton of questions about the radiation, how I was holding up, what side effects I was already feel

Kim and I started the day with radiation today.  I was still nervous about the choking experience I had yesterday.  I knew I was okay but it was stressful and I have to admit a little scary.  I decided to bring one of my mouthwashes with me this morning and rinse just before I get bolted down under that mask.  My hopes were that the effects of the mouthwash would keep some moisture in my cheeks or mouth for the twenty minutes I was being cooked. The apprehension of driving up there worried about it, and sitting in the lobby waiting to see if it worked was taking atoll on my nerves.  I explained my fears to my radiation techs, Gail and Michelle and they both explained it was very normal.  They gave me some hints that other patients have done by gargling before their treatment.  I decided to try the mouthwash as planned.  It did help, but my mouth was dry and I know from this day forward it will only get worse. After I got out of the cooker both Gail and Michelle told Kim and I to go

This morning Kim and I got up extra early so that we could meet with the counselor the cancer center had set us up with.  I hated having to push my morning routine so early, but it was nice to miss a lot of the traffic we hit during the time we usually go. When we met with the counselor she was nice, but it was more of a mechanical counseling session than a heart to heart session.  She handed us a paper with the cycle of grieving on it and explained the different steps of grieving.  She explained how it applied to our situation and where we both were in the cycle.  The information was good, I'm just not sure how well it will help during those times I find myself depressed and moody. She did have some helpful tidbits and was glad that Kim and I still had our sense of humor.  We spent some time during the meeting making fun of each other and how we were creating our own stress in each other without the disease.  We have always said you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and yo

Well, another long night without much sleep because of my acid reflux.  It is the day after my chemo treatment and this is my worse day.  Today was no different, but I have to admit it was a little better than last week. Just slightly better, but at this point I will take it. We took it slow this morning getting ready.  My stomach was very queasy and it would not have taken much to throw it into full blown nausea.  The hour long car ride to treatment was terrible.  Between the construction and traffic, I tend to get car sick on top of chemo stomach.  Today I was smart and brought a little pillow to lay on to try to rest on the way up. Radiation went well, but I let them know I was nauseous.  It still scares me that I can vomit while I am bolted down on the table in radiation mask. I am at the mercy of how fast the techs can remove it. After radiation we went over to the UF Cancer center so that I could get an IV of fluids.  I am getting them on Tuesday after chemo and on Thursday

Yesterday started of pretty rough.  I still had no energy but decided to go to church with Kim since it was Mothers Day.  After about 15 minutes in, I let Kim know I had to leave.  Even though I was only sitting in the seat it was still too much for me. I came home and took a nap for a few hours.  Later that day I felt a little more clear minded and felt pretty good actually. That was the best I felt ALL week!  At that moment, I realized how exhausted I was and how much of a fog and depression that I have been in the entire week. When you are in it, you don't realize it! I spent the afternoon with the whole family and it felt good to talk, laugh and actually feel normal again.  At one point Kim came over and said, "I actually forgot you were sick for a little while". It is these small challenges that I am working for. Ryan accompanied Kim and I to treatment today.  I called Dr. Tseng, (my Chemo Dr.) on our way to treatment so I could discuss my fogginess and depressio

Wow, this has been a long week and it has been an emotional roller coaster.  I started the week off strong. Even though the chemo went better with the new meds, mentally it was a lot more taxing.   Each day I am presented with new side effects such as sore throat, dry mouth, acid reflux and taste issues.  One issue by itself is not bad but as they compile they can start to be overwhelming.  The biggest issue right now is my fatigue and energy level.  I was told it would plummet, but I wasn't expecting it to drop so quickly.   I talked with Kim and told her I am starting to feel a little defeated and part of that is from knowing the worse is yet to come. Kim pointed out that I spend most of my time either getting treatment, or resting from treatment and I am not keeping myself mentally active.  She suggested that I take up a small hobby such as building models or some other low impact activity that will not wear me out, but will keep my mind busy.  I think this is a great ide

Today was a pretty good day.  I threw away another marble, one day closer.  I was able to get fluids again and this seems to help with both my energy and with my stomach. The biggest problem I am starting to face now is eating. I was told the radiation would kill my taste buds, and that food would not have a taste making eating a chore.  I was ready to take on that task, but between the chemotherapy and the radiation, not only has it changed my taste buds to not tasting, but it has altered them into making good food taste bad. I cannot tolerate sweets at all.  If anyone knows me and my relationship with ice cream, then they know how depressing that really is.  I also can't eat cookies, donuts or any other sweets. The taste of them is really offensive. The good news, I can tolerate bland foods very well.  These include vegetables and most soups.  This will come in handy as my throat gets worse and eating becomes harder and harder.

Last night was a long night.  The acid reflux was bad so I had to sleep sitting up again.  This is just part of the side effects of the chemo drugs. As the week wears on, the effects lessen, thank goodness. Today I was not sick, but the fatigue would come in waves and I was tired a lot. With the fatigue came a lack of appetite and just sheer exhaustion.  According to both the oncologist and the radiation doctor, this will get worse with both the chemotherapy and the radiation. My radiation treatment went well today, in and out with no problem. This afternoon the Osceola School District held a wellness 5k. Each school created teams who went there and walked or ran the 5k.  Lakeview Elementary School, where Kim works, adopted us as their team mascot.  The art teacher drew a design for their shirts and named them "Team Charlie".  He added a mustache and mirrored sunglasses in the graphic to capture the "Cop" in me, Lol. I was hoping to go to the kickoff to than

Well, I went to bed with a lot of stomach acid churning last night.  I got woken up a little after midnight when I regurgitated a bit of it.  I ended up sleeping in the recliner because lying down was just making the stomach acid worse. I woke up this morning and was a little sick.  It was tolerable, and definitely better than the day after chemo last week when I was throwing up. It looks like the new meds are starting to work. My first appointment today was with my dentist.  I had fluoride trays made for my teeth two weeks ago.  I picked them up along with some fluoride gel.  Now I have yet another routine to do with my teeth.  Taking care of my teeth is turning into a full time job. Kim and I went to radiation and I was able to tolerate the mask today with no problems. I threw away another marble, Yay. After radiation I went to the hydration lab.  This was so that I could get fluids and Pepcid and help flush the chemo drug out of my system.  This is to help aid me tolerate th

The weekend went fairly well.  I was able to get out and get around with no nausea.  It was great to run into some old friends and catch up on how things were going. I just couldn't go like before because I tired quickly. Last night I did not get much sleep.  I was stressed about the chemotherapy today. Even though I trust they were going to fix my pre-treatment meds, I just kept remembering how bad last week was. This morning Kim and I got up and got ready.  I went through my mouth ritual, brushing my teeth, using two mouthwashes, rinsing out my sinuses, and taking my new pills.  I then grabbed my marble and we headed out the door. First stop was the Port Access room.  On the days I have chemo I have to get my blood drawn to make sure my numbers are high enough for my body to handle the chemical, well really poison.  If my blood is not healthy enough than the treatment is delayed until the numbers come up.  Today I was fine! I then jump in the car and head over to the Bunk

Happy Cinco De Mayo!!! Today turned out to be a pretty good day. I woke up with just a little bit of nausea.  I was able to brush my teeth and do my mouth rinses without any problems. I never thought something so simple would ever be an issue, you just never know. I grabbed my marble out of my jar and we headed out. Jessie brought me to the UF Cancer center for my treatments today. My first stop was the hydration room.  This is where everyone who has a port installed has to go for blood work and to get fluids.  I received a bag of saline, a bag of steroids and a dose of Pepcid.  These did wonders for taking away what was left of my nausea. After we got the fluids, which took 2 very long hours, we headed over to the bunker for radiation.  Radiation went well today.  I wasn't worried of choking and my stomach was settled for the first time in a week. After the treatment I threw away my fifth marble and ended my first of seven weeks of treatment.  I was so excited, kind of

First let me start off with, "May The Fourth Be With You"!!! Okay,  last night I slept quite a bit because of the drugs that were pumped into me when I got the fluids.  I woke up this morning still feeling a little nauseous, but it was tolerable.  I grabbed my marble from the jar and headed out to my radiation treatment with Kim.  The drive there made things a little worse. Nothing like car sickness on top of a chemo stomach. When we made it to the "Bunker" to get my radiation treatment I was nervous.  My stomach was not settled, and frankly I am scared of throwing up with that mask on, the consequences could be pretty severe. I had the tech put on the Eagles soundtrack and we just got it done. After we left the Bunker, my Chemo doctor had me come over to discuss my current medications for nausea.  That was an interesting meeting.  We discussed the two meds I was on, Zofram and Compazine and the pre-meds she gives me just before my chemo on Mondays.  The pre-m

Where to begin?  I woke up this morning feeling nauseous.  Kim got me some saltine crackers and water to snack on before getting out of bed.  This normally helps settle the stomach before you actually get up and going.  She then gave me one of my anti-nausea pills to start working before the car ride. After she left for work, I started getting ready.  I showered, shaved, brushed my teeth and then vomited uncontrollably.  This was not how I wanted to start my day since I still have an hour drive to Orlando for my radiation treatment. The drive to Orlando was rough. Jessica was my chauffeur again today, and even though traffic was crazy, she did a great job driving nice and smooth.  Once we arrived I checked in and the tech team came out and brought me back.  They took one look at me and asked it I was up to the radiation.  I told them I had no choice, but they need to be close by.  If I vomit with that mask on, there is no where for it to go and I will aspirate on it.  I was assured

Last night started out well.  I took a compazine pill for nausea around 9:30.  This is designed to help me sleep through the night and settle my stomach before the nausea kicks in from the chemotherapy treatment.  I thought it was a little overkill since I felt fine. Oh boy, am I glad I listened. I went to bed around 11:00 and tried to get some sleep and let the medicine get out of my system.  I tossed and turned and tossed some more.  Finally around 2:30 I had to get up and take some medicine for my acid reflux.  If was acting up worse than normal and laying in bed awake for hours was not helping.  I finally got to sleep around 4:00. I know Kim was excited, because when I am awake so is she, I felt really bad for her.  A couple of times she would try to talk to me during the night but I didn't want to start a conversation in case I got a second wind, who was I kidding. Kim finally wakes me up at 7:00 to get me in the shower.  We have to leave at 8:30 to make my 9:20 radiatio

Let me start off by saying that May 1st is such an appropriate day for me to be starting my radiation and chemotherapy treatment.  I say that because May 1st is also called "May Day" and is also the term people yell when are in distress or in danger and need help.  I woke up this morning calling out, "Mayday Mayday". So how did this first day go? I am happy to say the best description I can give it is "anti-climatic".  I am not saying it was an easy day, just that there were no emergencies, mishaps, or other things that could complicate the day. Kim did come up with a really great way to motivate me through radiation.  She bought 35 marbles and placed them in a jar.  Each day I remove a marble from the jar and place it in my pocket.  After I finish radiation, I throw the marble away.  As the treatment progresses I will be able to see the marbles in the jar go down.  Today, I picked out my first marble. We got up this morning like any other